Lesson # 1:
Date Learned: 5/28/04
Lesson: When relaxing in a lounge in Vegas, you can spend the entire day drinking beers and cocktails if the waitress is cute and flirty enough. Especially Debra at Aladdin, should you be interested in going to the lounge overlooking the casino to check her it out.
Seriously folks. I had two beers and something called a “Stolen Lamp,” which is basically a mudslide made with similar ingredients and called something else. The waitress was so damned cute and flirty that it just made me want to stay there forever. I ended up finishing off Laura Ingraham’s book, writing three relatively long posts for IT, and took in some of the Pacers – Pistons game, while listening to some amazing live bands do some covers for various 90′s pop hits.
It was a riot. I had a few business meetings Friday morning and during those meetings my feet started seriously hurting. Not like pain, more like burning. So much walking around in the heat had really done a number on my poor soles. I wanted to get off my feet as soon as possible, so I sat down outside Elements, a high-end restaurant at Aladdin, my hotel. I got bored sitting at the table, so I decided to venture into the lounge because the music coming from there was exceptionally good. I mean, sure, it was loungey, but it was good loungey in an entertaining kinda way.
I went down grabbed a Coors Light at the bar, and sat on one of the couches, and I could literally feel the tensions dripping out of my toes. It was incredible, but I was instantly relaxed. I decided a beer was in order, so while reading Laura Ingraham’s book, the waitress came over to me and asked if I would like anything. Seeing as I was fresh out of beer, I realized that flying tonight would be much easier for me if I had another (beer is my number one tranquilizer. If you want to see me sleep, give me a beer and wait an hour or so), so I asked for another Coors Light.
She was striking.
As most waitresses in the casinos out here are, she was well proportioned, cute as hell, and friendly like I’ve never seen. She had a smiley flirty kind of appearance that just sucked me right in and made me want to sit there for the rest of my life. She brought it back, and of course I gave her a generous tip. That must’ve been a signal to her to pay more attention to me (an idea I wasn’t all too opposed to, mind you) because she kept “checking in” on me throughout the time there.
About an hour later, she came over to me again and asked if I would like another Coors. I decided I had had enough beer and I ordered my “stolen lamp,” which was really good. I love creamy cocktails… Mudslides, Irish Cream, etc. She brought it back to me, I smiled as widely as she smiled at me, and gave her another big tip. Again, she smiled. I don’t know if she was smiling because I was tipping like an idiot (okay, maybe not like an idiot, but definitely tipping on smiles and such and she probably knew she was just compelling the shit out of me to give her a bigger tip) or because she wanted to be flirty. Truthfully, I think it was all business, but I’m allowed to enjoy, right?
Anyway, on with the story. After the act that was on stage wrapped their set, my section of the lounge got a new waitress. No disrespect intended to her, but she looked like a beautiful shemale. You know the look I’m talking about, so I don’t have to go into it. I wasn’t interested in playing the “order a drink, get a smille, give a big tip” game with her, so I just ordered a club soda and gave her a buck and continued reading my book.
All in all, I spent four hours in the lounge reading, writing, and drinking. It was some of the most fun I’ve had in any city, New York or otherwise, in a really long time. It was just so relaxing that I can’t even fully explain the sense of the weight of the world being lifted off my shoulders that I felt.
Just for the knowledge of my readers, my wedding band was on full display the entire time. Believe me, I wasn’t hiding the fact that I’m married. In fact, I never take it off. I imagine it would take having a finger taken off in a serious farming machine accident to get that ring off that finger (no, it’s not tight, it’s just permanently placed on that finger never to be removed). As is usually the case with any normal guy, the only thing that kept going through my mind is, “I never got this kind of flirting when I was single.”
Of course, I never had a wife to return home to who loved me, either, so I guess it’s all a yin-yang type thing…