Well, the politically correct thought police are at it again.

Three radio jocks were suspended for playing a hoax on their listeners last Thursday. They pretended they were going to perform some kind of wacky science experiment stunt, and that while setting up the balloon and basket, a kitten named skittles jumped in and the balloon got away.

Hilarity ensued as hundreds of listeners scoured the city from the ground looking for the bunch of balloons and the lost kitten, Skittles.

Only problem is that none of it ever happened!

And the jocks were suspended!

Why?

Because they upset people!

I swear to God…

Anyway, the suspended jocks wrote the most idiotic thing on their site:

A Statement from Lambert and Lindsey

First we would like to thank the senders of thousands upon thousands of voice and emails of support for our morning show. Your demands that we be put back on the air are the reason we are here this morning. Your outcry far outweighed those who called in with complaints.

We would like to issue an apology to anyone who was upset, stressed, or in any way put out with our broadcast regarding the kitten named Skittles. We deeply regret any emotional distress you may have suffered as a result of our practical joke. All members of this show are pet lovers, and if you listen to the show, you realize that we donate more airtime to pet causes than any other media in town, radio or otherwise.

There never was a kitten named “Skittles” in a basket. Let us repeat for those who feel the suspension was a ploy to cover up the fact that we harmed this kitten. There NEVER WAS A KITTEN in a balloon talking to us on a cellphone.

The entire show was a practical joke.

As with all practical jokes, some people will think it’s hilarious. Others, when they realize they have been fooled, are not amused. Does it have anything to do with our treatment of a kitten? No, because there was no kitten. It’s about hurt feelings, and for those we are very sorry.

We are truly blessed to have the support of our listeners and the community, and please know that we would never endanger a living creature for comedy, nor would we violate your trust on a serious matter. But we promise to entertain to the best of our abilities, so you had better keep on your toes.

Sincerely,

George Lindsey

Lynda Lambert

Aaron Miller

They apologized!?! Give me a damned break!

My apology would’ve read something like this:

Screw you, you hypersensitive morons. It was a joke. Not every joke is funny to every person. If you don’t like our jokes, listen to another show.

Anyone so offended by this prank that they wanted the jocks suspended should be ashamed of themselves.

Then they should be smacked.