What is the “waiter rule”?

The CEO who came up with it, or at least first wrote it down, is Raytheon CEO Bill Swanson. He wrote a booklet of 33 short leadership observations called Swanson’s Unwritten Rules of Management. Raytheon has given away 250,000 of the books.

Among those 33 rules is only one that Swanson says never fails: “A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person.”

Swanson says he first noticed this in the 1970s when he was eating with a man who became “absolutely obnoxious” to a waiter because the restaurant did not stock a particular wine.

“Watch out for people who have a situational value system, who can turn the charm on and off depending on the status of the person they are interacting with,” Swanson writes. “Be especially wary of those who are rude to people perceived to be in subordinate roles.”

The Waiter Rule also applies to the way people treat hotel maids, mailroom clerks, bellmen and security guards.

Situational value systems are quite common in this modern world we live in, and it’s interesting to see someone put it out there in simple terms with a simple “test.”

I’ve learned a lot about people when it comes to waiters and waitresses and tipping. I tend to tip the hell out of waiters and waitresses and am a sucker for a smile and good service. Other members of my family almost have to have the tip pried out of their hands and even then it’s rarely more than “double the tax,” or 17%.

What’s funny about that, though, is that the “bad tippers” tend to have had either service industry jobs or blue collar positions; almost the exact opposite of what you would expect, especially considering they would be the types most affected by similar types of treatment from other customers, but the golden rule apparently doesn’t apply.

I have two philosophies when going to a restaurant:

1. Tip well. Tip extra. Hell, most of these folks make $4.15 an hour plus tips and if you don’t give ‘em a decent tip, you’re just being an inconsiderate ass (obviously, this doesn’t apply if the service sucked, but more often than not you can justify at least a few bucks even in that case).

2. Hand the tip and the bill to the waiter or waitress whenever possible. If you do that regularly at a restaurant, and you tip well, you’re guaranteed better service the next time that waiter sees you.

I think the heart of the rule here is that people who don’t treat someone with a menial job well tend not to think highly of the average person. I happen to agree with that, and think it’s an excellent thing to examine in your friends, coworkers, and others. I have a feeling that when you do, you’ll end up finding it to be true.

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