If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a pathetic ass who takes a cheap shot at you and then responds with what’s commonly known as a “conversation ender.” In this case, it’s our favorite Andy Milonakis lookalike, Rob Zazueta, again.

You may remember Rob (an uncanny Andy Milonakis lookalike, dontcha think?) from an earlier post about the various idiots who have a lot to say about my AOL call. There are a lot of them, many of them commenting here and some commenting elsewhere. Some even link in with their own blog so we can share in their brilliance. Then, there’s scumbag cowards like Rob.

See, Rob got a little peeved that I chose to call his ass out and then went on to cite a transcript of the call, following it with a lengthy explanation of why the rep was right to ask to speak to my father, why I was wrong to insist on not listening to his shpiel about usage (surely you remember that part, when he called me a liar?) and didn’t want to hear his last 25-second pitch about the “valuable” service AOL was going to continue to provide me. In the middle, Mr. Zazueta completely ignores the fact that on that Matt Lauer interview that he supposedly thinks is so cool, I expressly noted that whether or not the call was a clusterf***, it was going on this site.

Wow. What an agenda I had, huh?

He also, in a desperate attempt to relate his own story, explained his foray into the fascinating subject of smartmobs. Whoopdee-damned-do my friend. I’d say knocking a major media outlet down a few pegs is probably a bit more important. I’m sure the calls are going to end. In fact, I’ve actively ended them by not taking any more calls for interviews. Guess I’m not riding this one out very far, huh?

Anyway, then Rob does what it takes an exceptional breed of spineless bastard to do, and frankly this is the only reason I’m even acknowledging his post in the first place.

Only a special kind of scumbag drags his dead mother and dead child into a blogwar.

That’s right folks.

After writing an entire post about every little intricacy of my story and plugging his own foray into the fascinating topic of flashmobs (smartmobs, what the hell ever), he then proceeds to say a few remarkably stupid things:

Which brings us back to the whole reason we’re here right now. Ferrari discovered my post by searching for himself on Bloglines. He used this opportunity to once again point out that he appeared with Matt Lauer on NBC. This is quite cool - it’s rare that the average Joe gets to go on national network news and have someone with influence ask for his views. I can tell you from experience that it’s an absolute thrill ride and can get pretty addictive. But, like most thrill rides, it quickly comes to an end - unless you find a way to keep the story going in a compelling enough way.

Having enemies is a good way to keep the story going. Folks love a good soap opera and starting a public fight is a great way to get attention - just ask Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.

Thing is, I just don’t have the time or energy for such a fight. Ferrari is looking for more attention and, in my infinite generosity, I’ve donated a whole long post just to him to give him what he so sorely desires. But, honestly, it’s pretty much all I have. Earlier today I posted that I didn’t yet have time to prepare a cogent response because, in a tongue and cheek reference to some of the things he said about me, I was too busy looking for a Java job. That, of course, is not true.

Two weeks ago we learned my wife was pregnant. We have always been told that, due to several health issues and whatnot, this would be a difficult feat, so we were understandably excited. During one of our doctor’s visits, we were told that it looked like the fetus was not developing as expected, and we panicked. An emergency ultrasound, however, allayed our fears and allowed us to hear the most beautiful sound in the world - our 7-week-old baby’s heartbeat.

We went back in this afternoon for a routine prenatal checkup. We experienced the exact same scenario - the doctor said there was a problem and another emergency ultrasound was ordered. This time we were not so lucky. The heartbeat is gone, the baby has not developed past seven weeks. Both my wife and I are heartbroken. It’s been a bad day. Not exactly the worst day of my life, but not a good day.

That’s right. Lowlife Rob no longer has time for me because his child died in-womb. But it’s worse than that. He no longer has time for me because of his dead child, but he also doesn’t think that’s the worst thing in his life, instead choosing the death of his mother. You have to love how he worked two tragedies into the post to point out how he didn’t have the time to write the post he did.

Boo hoo, asshole. Way to exploit family! It does, in fact, get better:

Discovering Ferrari’s post has actually been a highlight. It made me chuckle, but it also made me wonder how someone could spend so much time and effort expelling so much vitriol over something so lame. I wrote one paragraph sort of criticizing him, he interpreted it as my being “all over the ‘time to drag down Vinny’ shit”. Frankly, despite the fact that I’ve been “blogging” for more than five years and surfing the Internet for more than 10, I had never heard of him before all this started either, and my life wouldn’t be any different either way if I never had.

My vitriol amused you? I think there’s something a buttload more amusing here than my vitriol. How could someone drag dead family into a blog fight? I think that’s an all-too-relevant question that needs to be answered. What kind of low-life bottom-feeding ass drags a miscarriage and a dead mother into a post about someone else’s irrelevancy?

Secondly, the fact that he’s never heard of me and never did in 5 years of blogging, 10 years of surfing the web, and 20 years of wetting his bed, means nothing. Google my name, folks. Plug it into Google News. In fact, plug it into any of your favorite search engines. If you really want to see why someone would try to piggyback on that to make a name for themselves very quickly, all it’ll take is your eyes.

Sure I’ll flame out and people won’t be interested in me at some point. I welcome the moment. I can’t wait to move on with my life and stop talking about AOL with every Tom, Dick & Harry about why I recorded the call, what my favorite part of the call was, and how I feel that Jon got fired. The fact is, though, right now my name is hot and the story has a pretty good buzz behind it, and as we all know, the only thing americans love doing more than setting people up is knocking them down. Rob tried and failed, then dragged his dead mom and dead kid into it.

Nothing in the world is lower than that. I’m done with you now, Rob. Now that I’ve wasted two posts on your exploitative ass, I think I’ve made my point. Sorry about your losses, but you’re a piece of crap for bringing them up and no amount of internet fame is going to change that.

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