When is everything not everything?

When it’s on a Linens N’ Things Coupon, of course.

So I got this in my e-mail this morning:

Of course, I immediately notice that “everything” has an asterisk next to it. I kinda wonder how someone can redefine a simple word like “everything.” First, what the dictionary says it means:

Noun:
An amount or quantity from which nothing is left out or held back.

Wow. Sounds like a good deal.

Apparently though, everything, in this case, doesn’t really mean everything. It just means some things, which is probably what the coupon should’ve said, instead of everything. Here’s what’s not included in the 20% off everything sale:

*Offer valid in-store only. Event ends 09/04/06. One coupon per customer. Coupon must be rendered at time of purchase. Sorry coupon not valid towards the purchase of Krups, Capresso, The Sharper Image, iJoy, Wusthof, Nautica, All-Clad, J.A. Henckels, Tempur-Pedic, Custom Windows, Little Giant Ladders, Weber gas grills or Linens ‘n Things Gift Cards. Cannot be combined with any other coupon or offer. Coupon not valid towards previous purchases and cannot be used with Linens ‘n Things credit card first purchase offer. Other restrictions may apply. Please see store or LNT.com for details.

So just to recap, everything only means everything when Krups, Capresso, The Sharper Image, iJoy, Wusthof, Nautica, All-Clad, J.A. Henckels, Tempur-Pedic, Custom Windows, Little Giant Ladders, Weber gas grills or Linens ‘n Things Gift Cards are not included in the group of everything, which is, by definition, all things with nothing excluded.

Got it?

Good.

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