Told during the homily at today’s mass…
A poorly sighted and slightly deaf burglar broke into a house where a woman was reading the bible. She was so absorbed in it that she didn’t notice him. At one point he knocks over a lamp, and the sound startles her. She grabs her bible and starts walking up the stairs. The burglar panics and wonders where he should hide. Instead, he kneels down on the opposite side of the bed out of sight.
The woman walks into the bedroom and turns on the light. Holding her bible, she yells out loud, “Acts 2:38! Acts 2:38!”
The burglar, scared to death comes out from the bed and kneels on the floor with his hands clenched begging for mercy. The woman reaches over to her night table, grabs the phone and calls the police.
When the police arrive they find the man cowering against a wall in the bedroom, paralyzed with fear. They were wondering exactly what had happened. She told them that she shouted “Acts 2:38″ twice and he crumbled. One of the officers looked at the man and said, “You must be quite the Catholic, seeing as mentioning scripture did this to you?”
“Scripture?” the man replied.
“Yeah… She was quoting scripture to you…”
The man shook his head. “I don’t know anything about no scripture, officer, but that woman told me she had an axe and two .38′s!”
Yep. The whole church burst out laughing.
[tags]joke[/tags]