Ahhh yes, the breathless reporting of a tragedy. Nothing makes a newspaper’s day like the opportunity to report some tragic young senseless death that we can all stop and think about as we go about our insignificant lives.

Tim Garger walked into Garden City High School Saturday wearing a bracelet of blue beads marked with the letters “JRV” — the initials of Jacqueline R. Vincent, 16, who was electrocuted after she tripped on the third rail while crossing the Long Island Rail Road tracks.

For him, the bracelet was a way to remember a free-spirited girl one friend described as “fun-loving … outgoing and loud.” Garger was one of several students who sought grief counseling at the school, where the flag flew at half-staff.

“Everyone knows you shouldn’t cross the tracks but everyone does it,” Garger said, his face melancholy.

That means everyone, including the girl, is fucking stupid. Seriously. Those trains hit top speeds between 60 and 70 mph and they’re quite quiet. If one is bearing down on you, you won’t even know it until the damn thing hits you.

But that’s beside the point because this genius died when she tripped on the third rail. Why was she crossing the train tracks? Well, no one really knows, and it’s never said, but you would think a High School Junior would have enough brains to know that it’s dangerous.

You would think that.

In the end, she tried to cut across dangerous train tracks. She avoided getting killed by a train and instead was killed by the electrified third rail. Something tells me we’re going to see a few things now:

1. A lawsuit that blames the Long Island Railroad for not keeping stupid people from walking on train tracks.

2. An increased “awareness” campaign about the dangers of being an idiot and walking on train tracks.

3. Someone will take this up as a cause celebre and we’ll never hear the end of it.

4. No discussion of the stupidity of the girl who died. God forbid you call a spade a spade.

It’s not that I don’t feel sympathy for stories like this, it’s just that I find it hard to well up. If she was mentally retarded and did this, I’d feel bad, but frankly a high school junior ought to know better.