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I'm a 33-year old Bronx livin' sarcastic bastard. If you cross me, I'll shred you. I have no problems sharing my opinion whether you want to hear it or not, so get used to it. I also shoot video, take pictures, and I'm the Executive Editor of Apple Thoughts, a web site devoted to Apple and its products.
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5 Web Personalities I Could Do Without

1. Molly Wood: Seriously, Molly. I don’t have any problems with you, or the fact that you don’t like Apple and their hardware, but if you could just put a bit of an effort into trying to learn about what you were talking about, that would be great. For example, Word and Excel are not Apple apps, Mail is not an iLife app, and so on. At least keep your stuff straight before you go on a rant. Your bitching about everything Apple is fine with me, but please just do your best to make sure that when you do uncork, you do so in a way that proves how much you know, not how little.

2. Andrew Baron: I watch Rocketboom daily, but that’s in spite of Andrew. Andrew is a seriously annoying human being who once told Jason Calacanis (surely you’ve heard of him; I think everyone has) he didn’t know anything about running a business. A year later, Calacanis now has Mahalo which is reasonably successful, and Andrew? Well, he can’t seem to give ads away on Rocketboom in spite of the fact that Joanne is an amazing host and the content is better than it’s ever been.

3. John Foster: Personal confuser, that thing, that thing 2, and doorbell. Those are his cutesy “I’m too cool for the room” terms for a computer, the iPhone, the iPod Touch, and his cellular phone. Seriously John. Cute euphemisms are so 1985. Although, you might be led to think John agrees, seeing as he scolded one TWiT forum reader for daring to call a Panasonic camera the “Panny” citing the fact that it makes forums harder to search. Yeah. Those cutesy nicknames are only good when you’re not the one using them. And telling me to “F. off” doesn’t make anything I’m saying any less true, John.

4. Xeni Jardin: Honestly… The lisp, the dye job, and the stupid posts on Boing Boing really combine to make this woman a trainwreck rolled into one spectacular catastrophe. CNN hunts her down for commentary as if she’s super-relevant, and frankly, I don’t know why. She’s got the stupid mid 90’s cyberpunk look so I guess if you’re looking for stupid stock footage of what the world perceives “web people” to look like, go with Xeni.

5. Dave Winer: Dave, seriously. We owe you a lot for RSS. If you weren’t such a jackass all the time, we’d be happy to worship at your altar, but you are, so we’re not. Stop crying for attention and bitching about not getting the recognition you think you deserve. And, while you’re at it, please stop bringing up Userland. It was the absolute worst piece of unusable garbage ever made which is why everyone but you succeeded at getting their software out there to the masses. Oh yeah, and your logo had a fricking cactus in it. ‘Nuff said.

Are there more? Of course there are, but these are the folks that make me smack my head into my desk every time I hear their voice or read their words somewhere. I’m sure everyone has a list like this, too. I’d love to see more of ‘em, frankly.

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9 Responses to “5 Web Personalities I Could Do Without”

  1. Davey Says:

    I know an internet personality I couldn’t do without. Welcome back! :)

  2. gojeffrey Says:

    I totally respect your opinion. And I can see your points on Molly Wood. But… I just can’t help but love her. Seriously. BOL is like my morning coffee. Can’t face the rest of the day without it.

  3. Vinny Says:

    My problem with Molly is that it seems like she hates her Escalade because it doesn’t fly.

    I just wish she would have a valid reason. I have no problem with people who hate Apple products. Hell, my uncle despises Apple and everything they make, but he at least isn’t out there saying all his iLife apps crash followed by a rant proving that he doesn’t know what iLife even is.

    Molly does that regularly.

    And don’t even get me started on that idiot Jasmine France who thought nothing big was announced by Apple this week.

    Ugh.

  4. johnfoster Says:

    So if I tell you to effoff again will you bump me to #1?

  5. Vinny Says:

    Nope. You’re just a hypocrite and the list is in no particular order anyway.

    Now go ahead and make a nice list of all your stupid cutesy euphemisms while chastising those who do the same.

  6. matt Says:

    Wow. Not much love in here.

  7. Dreadnought Says:

    Can you please, please add Rob Enderle to your list. For some reason, the NYT seems to think he’s the be-all, end-all of technology pundits. Perhaps they don’t realize he’s little more than a one-man shop with no real track record, except for wrongly predicting the demise of the Mac platform

  8. Vinny Says:

    Good point, although the folks on this list are a lot more annoying (IMHO) than anything Enderle says simply because I’ve learned to ignore him (as everyone should) ;-)

  9. insignificant thoughts » Loren Feldman Rips BBTV Says:

    [...] Start here: Honestly… The lisp, the dye job, and the stupid posts on Boing Boing really combine to make this woman a trainwreck rolled into one spectacular catastrophe. CNN hunts her down for commentary as if she’s super-relevant, and frankly, I don’t know why. She’s got the stupid mid 90’s cyberpunk look so I guess if you’re looking for stupid stock footage of what the world perceives “web people” to look like, go with Xeni. [...]

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