Food allergies are tragic. I have ‘em, so believe me I know. Of all the weird things in the world to be allergic to, I’m allergic to hazelnuts and paprika. Utterly insane, and it gets weird trying to figure out what’s in the food you’re eating, but so be it. It’s a fact of life for millions of americans.

I’ve always wondered, though… Are people with food allergies retarded, or do we just treat them like they are?

Take a look at the list to the left. Starbucks has started a new initiative, and that’s getting you to buy their baked goods and bring them to meetings and family functions. The list is their current one, and you’ll notice that there are two items with asterisks next to them: the bran with walnut muffins, and the banana nut loaf.

What does the asterisk mean?

That that particular food contains nuts.

No shit?

I’ve always thought that food labeling regulations were a good thing. For example, if I buy a bag of croutons for my salad, I wouldn’t automatically assume that the bag I bought was made in a plant that processes peanuts. It stands to reason that if the ingredient people are allergic to is processed alongside your food but not included, you probably should warn them.

The thing I wonder about, though, is why do we treat people with food allergies like they’re idiots? It’s one thing to make sure people are aware if their Twinkie might have a peanut in it, but doesn’t it stand to reason that something called Banana Nut Loaf would have nuts?

And it’s not even like telling you it contains nuts is all that helpful, anyway. Think about it. I’m very allergic to hazelnuts, but that’s it. I’m not allergic to cashews, peanuts, walnuts, pecans, or any others. This indication that products with nuts in their name might have “nuts” in them is utterly meaningless to someone like me.

I think it’s great that companies are trying to do the right thing for an obvious minority of their customers, but maybe we can stop treating people with food allergies like idiots? I’m sure if they buy a bag of cashews, the assumption is that the product may contain nuts (no shit, look at a can of nuts; some manufacturers think they have to warn you that your can of nuts might have nuts in it; I would hope it’s a little more than might!) isn’t too far out there and shouldn’t have to be made for people.