It’s pretty amazing, now that I think of it. There’s no one who didn’t think the 16 year old girl vote wouldn’t push David Archuleta over the top. In fact, it was so obvious that I didn’t watch any of the finale, opting instead to watch some classic WWE matches on MSG Television.
For two hours.
As the time drew near, I switched on Idol. I got to see a high energy medley by the top 12 of George Michael songs. “Why are they doing George Michael?” Beth asked.
“Five bucks says he’s coming out at some point.”
The medley goes on and on and on, and they stop and take a bow. Suddenly, you hear David Cook say, “Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. George Michael!” I was excited. I love George Michael. Always have. He comes out. The house lights go down, and he moans out the single worst song in history, dragging a crowd that was already comatose into nods and snores.
I look to Beth. “You know, I really hate this. I know what’s coming, and I don’t want it to happen, but there’s nothing I can do to stop it.” She nods. She knows I mean David Archuleta is going to win. It’s the foregone conclusion that the somewhat talented but infinitely tusslable youth was the winner. The judges gushed over every word that came out of his heavy-breathing mouth to the point where it looked like they were just trying to get on the right side of the presumptive winner. They were so biased and ridiculous, in fact, that Simon Cowell apologized to David Cook for being such a disrespectful turd the night before.
The contestants reassemble on stage, and the results are pimped. It’s now 9:57, meaning it’s going to give the winner a grand total of 3-5 minutes to celebrate. “The winner of American Idol 2008 is DAVID COOK.” A celebratory scream erupts from our apartment, and millions of sixteen-year-old girls start crying, devastated that their little boy wasn’t widely appealing enough to win.
On episode one of this season, I pegged Brooke White as the winner. There was no doubt in my mind. As the season progressed, though, she started faltering. Her performances went from genuine to trite and boring and she was voted off.
I also developed a big time attachment to Syesha Mercado. The lack of respect shown her by the judges and audience never sat well with me. She’s a super-talented singer that never got any respect and the lack of enthusiasm shown her by the judges probably contributed more to her leaving the show than her actual singing.
The one person I never thought I’d catch on to was David Cook. I originally dubbed him “scarf boy” because of the silly scarf he always had with him, and I didn’t like him much at all. At one point, he got into a pissing contest with Simon Cowell over his “arrogance.” After that, Cook elevated his game to a level none of the others could match. He was magnificent every single week. For the finale, he did three songs of completely different styles, and all of them songs he hadn’t done before. David Archuleta did three ballads, one of which was a re-run of one he did a few weeks earlier.
The votes prove it. 12 million more votes for Cook than Archuleta. Despite the insanely one-sided judges, David Cook utterly demolished David Archuleta in the court of public opinion, and America seems to have gotten it right for the second year in a row.
I didn’t expect it. I accepted it as a coronation of David Archuleta, but I’m glad I didn’t just skip it altogether because that final moment where Ryan declares David Cook the winner is priceless gold and that feeling was awesome. I was well and truly surprised, happy, elated, and so on. Even moreso, I’m looking forward to Cook’s album. The kid’s got talent. Loads of it.
And I wish him well.