You know it’s bad when The Guardian, friend and ally of every left-wing nut-job in the known universe, can’t even get down with what you’re saying. The following is a hysterically funny annotated version of an answer President Obama gave to BBC Political Editor Nick Robinson when asked who was to blame most for the current economic crisis.
“I, I, would say that, er … pause [I HAVEN'T A CLUE] … if you look at … pause [WHO IS THIS NICK ROBINSON JERK?] … the, the sources of this crisis … pause [JUST KEEP GOING, BUDDY] … the United States certainly has some accounting to do with respect to . . . pause [I'M IN WAY TOO DEEP HERE] … a regulatory system that was inadequate to the massive changes that have taken place in the global financial system … pause, close eyes [THIS IS GOING TO GO DOWN LIKE A CROCK OF SHIT BACK HOME. HELP]. I think what is also true is that … pause [I WANT NICK ROBINSON TO DISAPPEAR] … here in Great Britain … pause [SHIT, GORDY'S THE HOST, DON'T LAND HIM IN IT] … here in continental Europe … pause [DAMN IT, BLAME EVERYONE.] … around the world. We were seeing the same mismatch between the regulatory regimes that were in place and er … pause [I'VE LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT AGAIN] … the highly integrated, er, global capital markets that have emerged … pause [I'M REALLY WINGING IT NOW]. So at this point, I’m less interested in … pause [YOU] … identifying blame than fixing the problem. I think we’ve taken some very aggressive steps in the United States to do so, not just responding to the immediate crisis, ensuring banks are adequately capitalised, er, dealing with the enormous, er … pause [WHY DIDN'T I QUIT WHILE I WAS AHEAD?] … drop-off in demand and contraction that has taken place. More importantly, for the long term, making sure that we’ve got a set of, er, er, regulations that are up to the task, er, and that includes, er, a number that will be discussed at this summit. I think there’s a lot of convergence between all the parties involved about the need, for example, to focus not on the legal form that a particular financial product takes or the institution it emerges from, but rather what’s the risk involved, what’s the function of this product and how do we regulate that adequately, much more effective coordination, er, between countries so we can, er, anticipate the risks that are involved there. Dealing with the, er, problem of derivatives markets, making sure we have set up systems, er, that can reduce some of the risks there. So, I actually think … pause [FANTASTIC. I'VE LOST EVERYONE, INCLUDING MYSELF] … there’s enormous consensus that has emerged in terms of what we need to do now and, er … pause [I'M OUTTA HERE. TIME FOR THE USUAL CLOSING BOLLOCKS] … I’m a great believer in looking forwards than looking backwards.
We’re learning two things about this man, and they’re things that people like myself were saying from day one of him deciding he was going to run.
1. He can’t think on his feet. He never has an answer, never answers a question, and always swings away from facts and figures or solutions and situations into flowery rhetoric and so on. Note the complete lack of an answer to the question above, but also note that he makes sure to point out that he wants to look forward not back, doesn’t answer the question in any real way, and doesn’t really have a clue of what he speaks. Do I think he’s dumb? Nope. I think his intelligence is highly overrated and people derived his intelligence from…
2. He can’t speak for shit unless his words are pre-written for him. …his ability to speak when someone writes his words for him and he sits there and reads them. For eight years we were told by the media that our President was, essentially, a disfluent moron who couldn’t speak a sentence without looking like a complete idiot. In the Bush years, ability to speak was directly correlated to intelligence. I submit to you that, by the same standard, the UH and ER President is equally inept and looks equally stupid. When his teleprompter is on, he can be utterly captivating, but when it’s off he’s amongst some of the worst speakers on earth stumbling over his words in sentence fragments and incomplete thoughts.
