Two weeks ago on the Opie and Anthony show, comedian Doug Stanhope was railing against the idiots that insist that in order for the country to be good for them, “one of us” has to make it into the White House. I’m paraphrasing here, but ever so slightly:

“Do these people really think anything’s gonna change? Do they think that mall security is gonna stop following them around the store just because we have a black President? Are they suddenly expecting this guy to be their friends? People are stupid.”

Yep. They sure are.

What the hell took you so long, Hill?

This is why we need YouTube…

This is totally hysterical…

Thanks Joe!

For those of you who don’t know, Joe is a great oratator too. Just like Jesse Jackson.

This made me truly laugh. Found it on Woot:

The background:

Snow days, kids and school officials have always been a delicate mix.

But a phone call to a Fairfax County public school administrator’s home last week about a snow day — or lack of one — has taken on a life of its own. Through the ubiquity of Facebook and YouTube, the call has become a rallying cry for students’ First Amendment rights, and it shows that the generation gap has become a technological chasm.

It started with Thursday’s snowfall, estimated at about three inches near Lake Braddock Secondary School in Burke. On his lunch break, Lake Braddock senior Devraj “Dave” S. Kori, 17, used a listed home phone number to call Dean Tistadt, chief operating officer for the county system, to ask why he had not closed the schools. Kori left his name and phone number and got a message later in the day from Tistadt’s wife.

The audio:

The money quote:

Candy Tistadt did not return phone messages, but Dean Tistadt credited Kori for having the “courage of his convictions to stand up and be identified.” He also credited him for causing the high volume of crank calls, not to mention considerable grief and embarrassment for his wife.

“This has been horrible for her,” he said, adding that he and his wife both learned a hard lesson about the long reach of the Internet.

via Trish

There’s a bit of language in this video, but the song is so catchy it’s on my iPhone now… If you already saw it on my Twitter, my apologies, but it’s worth a look…

The Master Of Balls - video powered by Metacafe
via Michelle Oshen

As if getting a tattoo wasn’t stupid enough, at least verify the meaning of the oh-so-cool foreign words you have etched into your skin…

A teenage-girl just wanted to impress her mother by having the word “mum” tattooed on her back in Chinese letters. After the tattoo was completed, the girl found out that the symbols meant “Friend from hell.”

A local paper said Charlene Williams, 19, only discovered something was wrong with her tattoo when a passing Chinese woman shouted at her, “Evil, evil, very bad.”

“I was shocked and angry, Charlene said. “Dad joked it said chicken chow mein.”

“It was worse than that.”

The 19-year old girl said she paid $20.43 when she had the Chinese characters tattooed on her back four years ago in Poole, Dorset.

After the horrifying incident, Charlene covered the characters with an image of a leaf design tattoo that cost $81.72.

Hey, had you not noticed, at least you would’ve had some nice trendy chinese characters on your back so everyone would ask you what they meant. After all, that’s what it’s all about… Getting people to ask you about your amazingly interesting tattoo.

HERE I AM, NOTICE ME!

Technorati Tags: tattoo, stupid

Now, I just want to preface this with saying you need to read my previous comments on Xeni Jardin.

Start here:

Honestly… The lisp, the dye job, and the stupid posts on Boing Boing really combine to make this woman a trainwreck rolled into one spectacular catastrophe. CNN hunts her down for commentary as if she’s super-relevant, and frankly, I don’t know why. She’s got the stupid mid 90’s cyberpunk look so I guess if you’re looking for stupid stock footage of what the world perceives “web people” to look like, go with Xeni.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, here’s Loren Feldman’s review of Boing Boing TV’s premiere “episode.” Note the similar impression of Xeni Jardin at about thirty seconds in.

Click To Play

And, if you really wanna see a trip, check out a Google search for “vacuous hole.” (Hint: Third link down)

(For the record, I like Mark Frauenfelder and David Pescovitz, but Xeni and Cory make me want to stab myself with rusty saws)

Technorati Tags: egglands, eggs

Think Chris Crocker, only really pretty and very funny…

Way to go Justine

When these pictures of a Sam Brownback rally got out, many of us rightfully laughed our asses off at the absolute silliness of a Presidential candidate drawing roughly 20 people to a speech.

Apparently, the man on the white horse that’s going to save the Republican Party isn’t doing a whole hell of a lot better at drawing a crowd:

A handful of Utah “Fredheads” - political activists supporting the late entry of Republican Fred Thompson into the presidential sweepstakes - gathered Thursday in Salt Lake City to kick off their campaign for the oldest fresh face in the race.

Just four Thompson supporters showed up at Utah Republican Party headquarters for the event, leaving dozens of untouched cookies and vegetable snacks provided in hopes a much bigger crowd would materialize.

After all the hype, months of buildup, and talking and talking and talking about every issue after every debate as if the man was running, the most they could muster up for a Fred event was 4 people? I’m not a huge fan of Giuliani, but could you even imagine a Giuliani event with such a tepid response? I can’t.

Event #1 for El Fred can undeniably be called a colossal failure.

Technorati Tags: fred thompson, sam brownback, failure

On a recent trip to Stew Leonard’s in Yonkers, my wife and I uncovered an unexpected bit of fun: finding misspelled shelf signage. Luckily the fun was nowhere near sparse as we found numerous fun examples.

First this one…

And lest you think one mangled spelling was bad enough…

Of course, no meal would be complete without a side dish…

And finally, a bit of dessert…

Anyway, it’s not like we hold this against them. In fact, Stew Leonard’s is one of our favorite places to shop. Fresh produce & dairy, excellent meat, nice bakery, and a great selection of prepared food, all under one roof. But please guys… For the love of God… Proofread the signs

This is why I read the New York Sun:

The day before Senate Watergate Committee minority counsel Fred Thompson made the inquiry that launched him into the national spotlight — asking an aide to President Nixon whether there was a White House taping system — he telephoned Nixon’s lawyer.

Just the kind of guy you want in the White House. Actually, what am I saying? Judging by the way things seem to be going, he’d fit right in. I can’t wait to see how many “law & order” Repbulicans rush to call this no big deal as they bend over backwards to support this guy the way they did with his abortion flip flop.

Fred Thompson amuses me.