Drew Curtis Wants to Own NSFW

December 11th, 2007 by Vinny

No shit fuckwad? You really want to own “Not safe for work?

Entertainment Services namely providing a website featuring photographic, audio, video and prose presentations featuring comedic captions regarding current events and online discussions and/or reviews of web materials of an adult nature; Entertainment services, namely, providing a web site featuring musical performances, musical videos, related film clips, photographs, and other multimedia materials; Entertainment services, namely, providing on-line reviews of photogrpahs and /or web postings of an adult nature.

Nope. They’re not kidding. I can’t support Fark anymore. Frankly, this is ridiculous, and Drew Curtis should be completely and totally ashamed of himself for this one. A guy who was once a pioneer of the internet is now a money grubbing trademark whore.

Screw you Drew.

via Valleywag



Gotta Love Rudy

November 5th, 2007 by Vinny

Rudy has got to be the dumbest man to ever run for the Presidency. He says Joe Biden doesn’t have any “foreign policy” experience. Clearly. No arguing the point.

What I found most interesting about the video are the positions that qualify him as having foreign policy experience, including “law enforcement.” Interesting. I imagine he threw that one in because he was a former US Attorney covering the district that included New York.

I for one don’t believe his job involved much foreign policy work, unless of course you include all the mob bosses he put away as working with Italian ambassadors, but whatever.

Of course the best part is his mumbling stumbling stammering justification for his remark (and outright denial of what he clearly said) when asked about it.

Caught again, Rudy.

via Prez Vid



Zero Tolerance Strikes Again

October 21st, 2007 by Vinny

Has anyone else noticed how zero tolerance often looks a lot like zero common sense?

A single mother said the school district overreacted by suspending her 7-year-old son for drawing a smiling stick figure shooting another smiling stick figure with a gun.

Shirley McDevitt said her son, Kyle Walker, was suspended Thursday for one day after school officials found out about the drawing, sketched on a piece of paper.

Kyle attends second grade at the Dennis Township Primary School in Cape May County.

McDevitt, of Belleplain, said she was told he was suspended because of the school’s zero-tolerance policy for guns.

Okay… A… Why do we need to know she’s a single mother? Oh right… Because if some people did think he did something was wrong, that’s your instant mitigator; as if single moms are incapable of raising children and need our constant sympathy and support. How condescending.

B… This “zero tolerance” shit has gone entirely too far already and it keeps going further and further day after day. It’s one thing to have a zero tolerance policy about actual guns. You know… Real ones… Made of metal… With bullets… But a drawing of one in a stick figure’s hand?

Here’s the drawing that caused all the problems…

Picture 1-13

If you want to make the argument that this is threatening, then you have to explain to me why both “kids” are smiling. You can’t employ only some of the symbolism in a drawing then suspend a kid for it. If the symbolism implies that Kyle shot David, then why are both Kyle and David smiling? What does the smiling imply?

It is really silly how much both parents and schools wigged the hell out after Columbine, but at some point we may want to take hold of common sense and drag it, kicking and screaming, back into our schools.

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The Moron in the Iron Mask

October 21st, 2007 by Vinny
 Us.Yimg.Com P Ap 20071020 Capt.15B4E8Ddae37446D891505Afb6Fa8B42.Aptopix Colombia Protest Wfm102

Forget going on a hunger strike. In Colombia, an unemployed man has sewn shut his mouth and locked himself behind an iron mask to demand the government attend to his family’s desperate economic plight.

Luis Miguel Aldana, 52, told The Associated Press on Saturday that he adopted the peculiar form of protest five days ago, after being locked out of his apartment in Bogota. Instead of paying two months of rent, Aldana says he bought shoes for his three children.

He is demanding the government provide a loan to jump-start a cottage textile business and pay health care bills for his wife and children. Without the loan, he says his family will end up living on the streets.

“Oh please, government, save me…”

Shame. I know of a hair model / taste testing job available for Aldana. Shame he’s all sewn up and sealed up.

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Justin.tv: The Masses Are Asses

October 20th, 2007 by Vinny

Oh, this is so rich… Check this punk ass out as he bad mouths some chick working at a movie theater because she won’t let him take his Justin.tv camera inside a movie auditorium with it on.

That’s frigging rich. You do this for your work? To make a living you broadcast on Justin.tv?

Stop the shit.

Good on her for not giving a shit about his stupid explanation too.

I’m all for freedom to photograph and video wherever and whenever, but she was anything but a bitch in telling this moron to STFU and turn off the camera. It’s a movie theater. He tried to bully her and she wasn’t buying it. Good on her.

Lewis makes an apology on his blog:

I’ve always done my best to make others feel valued and appreciated in my presence, and in this case, I failed. I took offense to a portion of my life which I’m quite passionate about, and know that my passion runs deep for anything I dedicate my life to. I cannot be stubborn and feel justified in my actions because of my passion or the wrongdoings and disappointments I’ve faced in life and with people. Thus, I concede that I’m wrong and admit to my error. I will personally apologize to Bryanna in person this week and make the video available within this post.

*cough* marketing speak wishy washy weasel words alert *cough*

And, of course, he has the requisite breakdown complete with foot stamping, whining, bitching and complaining that nobody cared about him until he acted like a complete and utter asshole.

Where were you while I was interviewing everyone from Craig Newmark to Kevin Rose? Where were you when I was breaking major news on my blog which got overlooked by the majors? Where were you when I was bridging relationships with the world’s leading CEOs? Where were you during the many moments of my lifecast where I profusely thanked someone for their service? Where were you when I gave a tip to a server who didn’t deserve it? Where were you during my crappy relationships where I simply wanted love, respect and commitment? Where were you when I created my own PR campaigns and secured coverage for my projects in the Detroit News, Nashville Business Journal and other media oulets? Where were you when I gave money to the homeless? Where were you when I talked to Cisco about sponsorship of my podcast? Where were you when my father died? Where were you when I called for our nation to put an end to social constructs? Where were you when I got the exclusive interviews prior to the New York Times, Wall Street Journal and other mainstream outlets? Where were you when someone’s child said they loved me?

Nah, no one bothered to take interest in anything I mentioned above. No one took the time to see the life of a good and decent person who has only asked for the basics in return from others. Instead, you chose to gossip about one of the most meaningless and baseless portions of my life. What about everything else? Is all that matters in the world is when we’re pissed off, or when we’re frustrated with life and people? Does my life’s work and who I am as an individual not matter? How is it that I can achieve so much in life without mention, yet a minute-long video can have the world in chatter?

What is really important in our society today?

Oh really. Shut up. You chose to broadcast your life on Justin.tv so if you act like an asshole and everyone notices, it’s on you, my friend.

Tech Crunch has more stories including one about someone who I actually like getting thrown out of a book reading for putting it on Justin.tv.

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Xeni Jardin as my wallpaper? Yeah… Right…

October 11th, 2007 by Vinny

The New York Times weighed in on the half-step-short-of-unwatchable Boing Boing TV, a vanity project for everyone’s favorite 36 year old windbag Xeni Jardin. In it, David Carr makes this utterly ridiculous statement:

Xeni Jardin is the face of Boing Boing TV. With a shock of white, almost architectural, hair, she looks like a siren from some lost episode of “The Jetsons.” Ms. Jardin, who also contributes to Wired and other publications, as well as National Public Radio, serves as a muse and screen-saver for fanboys everywhere.

Screen saver?

Now assuming Mr. Carr meant wallpaper, the question needs to be asked… Who the hell has her as their wallpaper? And by who, I mean who aside from her. Seriously. The wannabe cyberpunk riotgirl is not the least bit attractive to anyone I know, so I’m wondering who in the hell out there has her as their wallpaper?

For reference, there’s a picture of her in the upper right corner. You tell me if she’s hawt enough to be your wallpaper. The idea that Carr thinks anyone does proves what I’ve been saying for years. People seek her out for interviews not for her insight, but because her look fits the impression people have of “internet” people.

Technorati Tags: xeni jardin, wtf

 



Holy Shit… Red Staters, Please Exile This Idiot

October 10th, 2007 by Vinny

So first I saw a video by two schmucks who claim that Hillary Clinton is abusing YouTube. You can watch that video here. How she’s abusing it, they never really get around to saying, but nonetheless, never let a good rant get sidetracked by explaining things, being rational, or even telling the truth. I don’t know why I did it, but I then followed a link to a video response. Inside, I found this magnificent gem, where we learn that the short “ansewer” is yes…

Now aside from the shaky camera (come on man, get a $20 tabletop tripod), horrendously funny faces, mousey voice, and ridiculously bad lighting, this guy is just a ball of entertainment. Why, you might ask?

Well, he has the audacity to say “of course the Democrats are abusing YouTube,” and later goes on to say that the disabling of comments and other things are because democrats (no joke, he actually said this) love that they can block out opposing views on YouTube, and he also points out that Democrats are taking advantage of YouTube and they shouldn’t be using it, implying of course that good candidates don’t use YouTube.

Well then… I guess all these guys are bad candidates…

I swear… The best thing about the internet is that everyone can participate.

However, the worst thing about the internet is that everyone can participate.

Technorati Tags: video, hillary, youtube, ridiculous, stupid

 



James Randi Challenges Audio Snobs

October 3rd, 2007 by Vinny

Everyone knows James Randi is one of my favorite folks in the history of the world. He’s been walking around with a $100,000 check (originally a $10,000 check) in his pocket for almost 30 years, waiting for someone to prove to him that they have psychic abilities that he can verifiably test.

Now, he has a new challenge. He’s offering one million dollars to anyone who can prove that $7,250 speaker cables actually do make a difference. After reading glowing reviews of the money-sink cables, Randi now has an open challenge out there

Well, we at the JREF are willing to be shown that these “no-compromise” cables perform better than, say, the equivalent Monster cables. While Pear rattles on about “capacitance,” “inductance,” “skin effect,” “mechanical integrity” and “radio frequency interface,” – all real qualities and concerns, and adored by the hi-fi nut-cases – we naively believe that a product should be judged by its actual performance, not by qualities that can only be perceived by attentive dogs or by hi-tech instrumentation. That said, we offer the JREF million-dollar prize to – for example – Dave Clark, Editor of the audio review publication Positive Feedback Online, who provided the above rave review. If Mr. Clark should choose to apply for the prize, he would be unlike John Atkinson of Stereophile Magazine – see randi.org/jr/121004science.html#11 – who made great noises about being ready to snap up the million, then got distracted by things such as gullible readers who accepted his claimed abilities, and backed out. But we’ll see…

The beauty of this test is that Randi will put these folks’ ears to the test. Not their oscilloscopes; not their meters, and not their high-end spectral analyzers. Their ears. The part of their body that got them writing about how “danceable” the cables were and such.

Speaking of danceable, how much tap dancing do you think will be done to avoid being the “one” that gets blooped for the test?

via Gizmodo

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You Have to Be Pretty Fucking Deluded

September 30th, 2007 by Vinny

Imagine a world where a maniacal holocaust denier who’s a known fundamentalist and a terrorist financier is someone who makes you swoon

I know I’m a Jewish lesbian and he’d probably have me killed. But still, the guy speaks some blunt truths about the Bush Administration that make me swoon…

[...]

I want to be very clear. There are certainly many things about Ahmadinejad that I abhor — locking up dissidents, executing of gay folks, denying the fact of the Holocaust, potentially adding another dangerous nuclear power to the world and, in general, stifling democracy. Even still, I can’t help but be turned on by his frank rhetoric calling out the horrors of the Bush Administration and, for that matter, generations of US foreign policy preceding.

This strikes me as the same type of logic of some of the other left-wing kooks that insist that while Osama bin Laden may have killed a few people, we should listen to him to understand his point of view. I guess calling this idiot a terrorist sympathizer would probably be just stating the obvious, but I’d be willing to bet if I told her her ramblings were unpatriotic and actually called her a terrorist sympathizer, she’d wrap herself in the flag and call me a right-wing fascist.

I’ll just leave it at “you’re a fucking moron, carpet muncher.”

I think that works so much better.

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Giuliani is Such A Hack

September 23rd, 2007 by Vinny

Here’s Rudy talking to the NRA last week:

Everyone loved the whole thing and got a good laugh out of it. Rudy is just so charming. His wife calls him. How cute!!! Everyone is thrilled with his family values persona.

Well, turns out ole foot in mouth master Giuliani has a history of doing exactly this. Here he is again, laying it on equally thick:

Rudy, cut the shit.

Seriously.

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Giuliani: Moveon.org Should Face Sanctions

September 22nd, 2007 by Vinny

Rudy Giuliani has to be the dumbest candidate ever in an election. This time, he’s pulling out the old “we’re in a war” argument:

Giuliani said that MoveOn.org’s ad criticizing Gen. Petreaus was out of bounds and hinted that the group should face some sort of sanction.

“They passed a line that we should not allow an American political organization to pass,” he said. “We are at war right now, whether some people want to recognize it or not.”

I’m sure plenty of people realize it. No matter what we’re in, it’s still a free country, Mr. Giuliani, and until such time as it’s not, curtailing free speech because “there’s a war going on” just isn’t going to fly.

I hope he gets his ass handed to him in November ‘08 (seeing as he’s the most likely nominee at this point).

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Here’s a Picture, Stupid

September 19th, 2007 by Vinny

You have got to be kidding.

Boing Boing points out that Sherri Shephard isn’t quite sure if the earth is round.

WHOOPI GOLDBERG: Is the world flat?

SHERRI SHEPHERD: Is the world flat? (laughter)

GOLDBERG: Yes.

SHEPHERD: …I Don’t know.

GOLDBERG: What do you think?

SHEPHERD: I… I never thought about it, Whoopi. Is the world flat? I never thought about it.

BARBARA WALTERS: You’ve never thought about whether the world was round or flat?

SHEPHERD: I tell you what I’ve thought about. How I’m going to feed my child-

WALTERS: Well you can do both.

SHEPERD: …how I’m going to take care of my family. The world, is the world flat has never entered into, like that has not been an important thing to me.

ELIZABETH HASSELBECK: You’ll teach your son, Jeffery, right?

SHEPHERD: If my son, Jeffery, asks me ‘is the world flat,’ I guess I would go…

JOY BEHAR: You know, didn’t some person already work this question out? I mean, why are we doing this again? (laughter, applause)

I don’t care how big a creationist you are, the earth is fucking round. Period. If you can’t commit to that, you’re not a true believer, you’re a fucking moron.

 Earthas17

Here’s a picture, stupid. Study it. There’s a quiz later.

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Shelley Duncan Is a Jackass

September 19th, 2007 by Vinny
 Images 031Df67A6B 091507Yankautographmg01

Shelley Duncan, a player for the New York Yankees, signed an autograph for a kid during the Yankees’ recent swing through Beantown. Of course, Duncan could’ve just signed his name for the kid, but that would’ve been too simple. Instead, Duncan proved what a classless ass he is:

Griffin Whitman, a 10-year-old Red Sox fan from Swampscott, was excited to attend his first Yankees vs. Red Sox game Friday night. The young autograph -collector was even more thrilled to score Yankees outfielder Shelley Duncan’s signature before the game. That is, until Griffin read the message from the 27-year-old rookie: “Red Sox suck! Shelley Duncan.”

Oh boo fucking hoo, right? The heartless Yankees asshole signed “Red Sox Suck!” He’s a bastard!

I’m not condoning what Duncan did. He’s still an asshole. I do, however, think that some perspective is in order here. Thank God we have Fark:

Poor kid. Terrible for him to see that word used in such a manner.

Up until then he had thought the proper term was ‘Yankees Suck’, which is shouted by Bostonians every time a crowd of 20 or more people gathers, including church picnics and long lines at the bank.

Give me a farking break.

Indeed. Mom, seriously, shut the hell up. Your little saint will be just fine. If “sucks” is the harshest word he ever hears, you have nothing to worry about.

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Best. Video. Evar.

September 14th, 2007 by Vinny

I don’t know. She sold me…

Beware… Some psychotic ramblings NSFW.

Wow…

Just…

Wow…

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Disappointment? Not our boy!

September 13th, 2007 by Vinny

A 16-year-old boy told detectives he killed his parents because he didn’t want to disappoint them anymore, according to a police documents.

Jacob Brighton said he shot his parents last month because he always felt like a disappointment to them because he didn’t have a job, smoked marijuana and didn’t share the same “qualities or interests” as his father, according to the recently released documents.

“So there’s nobody, now there’s nobody to be disappointed in me, try to make me lead … their life,” Brighton said.

Truth is, I would’ve gone with a more traditional solution. You know… Not smoking pot… Getting a job…

But hey, his works too. I mean, his parents aren’t disappointed anymore, right?

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Giuliani’s Worst Enemy? Why, Giuliani, of Course!

September 7th, 2007 by Vinny

WASHINGTON - Republican presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani said illegal immigration is not a crime, prompting rival Mitt Romney to accuse him of not taking the problem seriously.

The two have clashed for weeks over illegal immigration, an issue that inflames GOP conservatives who influence primary elections. The irony is that both candidates have in the past taken more liberal stands on the issue.

“It’s not a crime,” Giuliani said Friday. “I know that’s very hard for people to understand, but it’s not a federal crime.”

Giuliani’s comments came in an interview with CNN Headline News and radio talk-show host Glenn Beck.

“I was U.S. attorney in the Southern district of New York,” he said. “So believe me, I know this. In fact, when you throw an immigrant out of the country, it’s not a criminal proceeding. It’s a civil proceeding.”

Illegal immigration is not a crime.

Illegal immigration.

Immigration done illegally is not a crime.

Yessiree Bob, he’s perfect for the Presidency.

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NYPD Removes Costumed Mascot for Ruining Live News Shot

July 5th, 2007 by Vinny

This is why the NYPD sucks balls. Seriously. For everything good they do, they manage to work in something so blatantly assinine that it’s almost impossible to believe half of them haven’t been fired already.

The mascot from Hungrr.com was walking around on the iPhone line at the 5th Avenue Apple Store last Friday when he raised the ire of some two-bit camera monkey who objected to him being in the shot. Apparently that was good enough cause for the NYPD who immediately removed the mascot from the street, threatening to arrest him and put him in jail.

For what? Well, actually, nobody knows. Apparently if you’re some low-level beat walking NYPD douchebag, merely being on the street is a crime if it annoys a news crew.

What’s that you say? What proof do I have?

How about a video?

The NYPD officers who did this should be investigated immediately. End of story. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go give a few bucks to Hungrr.com just on principle.

via CrunchGear

Technorati Tags: nypd, press, media, hungrr

 



President Thanks Republicans for Support by Granting Libby Clemency

July 3rd, 2007 by Vinny

President Bush singlehandedly dropped a lit grenade right in the laps of the Presidential candidates who didn’t support him during his push for shamnesty.

Yesterday, he granted clemency to Scooter Libby. He dropped the 30 month prison sentence and left him to handle the probation and $250,000 fine. After arriving at his conclusion, the President made the following statement:

Mr. Libby was sentenced to thirty months of prison, two years of probation, and a $250,000 fine. In making the sentencing decision, the district court rejected the advice of the probation office, which recommended a lesser sentence and the consideration of factors that could have led to a sentence of home confinement or probation.

I respect the jury’s verdict. But I have concluded that the prison sentence given to Mr. Libby is excessive. Therefore, I am commuting the portion of Mr. Libby’s sentence that required him to spend thirty months in prison.

My decision to commute his prison sentence leaves in place a harsh punishment for Mr. Libby. The reputation he gained through his years of public service and professional work in the legal community is forever damaged. His wife and young children have also suffered immensely. He will remain on probation. The significant fines imposed by the judge will remain in effect. The consequences of his felony conviction on his former life as a lawyer, public servant, and private citizen will be long-lasting.

The Constitution gives the President the power of clemency to be used when he deems it to be warranted. It is my judgment that a commutation of the prison term in Mr. Libby’s case is an appropriate exercise of this power.

The President’s logic is so undeniably offensive that it makes me want to vomit.

Firstly, does anyone think this wasn’t the plan all along? A pardon / clemency for anyone that was made to take the fall? It’s bad enough that Libby was only half of the equation and Richard Armitage is walking around like nothing happened, but when everyone was calling the Libby punishment a slap on the wrists and saying that ultimately it didn’t matter, Republicans bristled at the accusations saying the jury had spoken.

Well, what happened? Did they speak and he just not like what they said?

Secondly, think of the ripple this creates for the Republican presidential candidates. All the ones who were opposed to his shamnesty bill are now faced with having to explain how they won’t turn the government into a tool for croneyism and such. Payback certainly is a bitch, huh?

The President has flagrantly demonstrated his contempt for the law here. I’ve noticed a serious number of sycophants looking for reasons to excuse such behavior, and that’s all well and good, but frankly, I’m not going to sit down and be quiet about it.

It’s wrong.

Period.

The argument that Sandy Berger wasn’t punished more severely when he stole documents from the National Archives and destroyed them holds no water for me. Nor does the fact that Bill Clinton had a rash of pardons for lots of scummy people including his brother on his last day in office.

If you want to prove that you’re better than the other guy, you don’t do the same thing as your opponent and then justify it by saying they did it.

 



You can’t win it if you ain’t in it…

June 25th, 2007 by Vinny

A Dutch woman who claimed she suffered emotional damages due to not winning the lottery missed the jackpot in court too.

Amsterdam District Court judges Wednesday rejected the claim of Helene de Gier, who said she was traumatized by not winning the country’s National Postcode Lottery, which she didn’t enter, while her neighbors did.

In the lottery, postal codes are chosen at random, and people who live there and enter can win prizes ranging from a few euros (dollars) up to millions. Proceeds go to charity.

De Gier lived on a street in the small southern town of Heusden where seven entrants won €13.9 million (US$18.6 million) each on Jan 1, 2006.

Together with her husband, she filed a suit, arguing that the lottery was an invasion of privacy because she could not escape the media attention surrounding the town’s selection. Afterward, neighbors allegedly rubbed in their victory, including one who ostentatiously displayed a new Porsche in front of his house.

De Gier said she eventually become obsessed with the loss. She said she was constantly confronted with it when writing her postal address.

So you don’t enter, and then you sue ’cause you feel bad when you don’t win? WTF?

The thought of the next lottery draw felt “like a noose around my neck being tightened,” she told television program Nova, wiping away tears.

In addition, she said the lottery uses advertisements that amount to “emotional blackmail,” because they emphasize the regret people who do not participate will feel when their neighbors win.

“In other lotteries you would never know for sure that if you had only participated you would have won,” she said.

Which is why it’s called “chance.”

“I’m not a sore loser. Absolutely not,” she told Nova.

Yeah…

Right…

IHT via Overlawyered

Technorati Tags: lottery, loser, lawsuit, weird

 



Kids Mourn Dumb Friend

June 25th, 2007 by Vinny

Ahhh yes, the breathless reporting of a tragedy. Nothing makes a newspaper’s day like the opportunity to report some tragic young senseless death that we can all stop and think about as we go about our insignificant lives.

Tim Garger walked into Garden City High School Saturday wearing a bracelet of blue beads marked with the letters “JRV” — the initials of Jacqueline R. Vincent, 16, who was electrocuted after she tripped on the third rail while crossing the Long Island Rail Road tracks.

For him, the bracelet was a way to remember a free-spirited girl one friend described as “fun-loving … outgoing and loud.” Garger was one of several students who sought grief counseling at the school, where the flag flew at half-staff.

“Everyone knows you shouldn’t cross the tracks but everyone does it,” Garger said, his face melancholy.

That means everyone, including the girl, is fucking stupid. Seriously. Those trains hit top speeds between 60 and 70 mph and they’re quite quiet. If one is bearing down on you, you won’t even know it until the damn thing hits you.

But that’s beside the point because this genius died when she tripped on the third rail. Why was she crossing the train tracks? Well, no one really knows, and it’s never said, but you would think a High School Junior would have enough brains to know that it’s dangerous.

You would think that.

In the end, she tried to cut across dangerous train tracks. She avoided getting killed by a train and instead was killed by the electrified third rail. Something tells me we’re going to see a few things now:

1. A lawsuit that blames the Long Island Railroad for not keeping stupid people from walking on train tracks.

2. An increased “awareness” campaign about the dangers of being an idiot and walking on train tracks.

3. Someone will take this up as a cause celebre and we’ll never hear the end of it.

4. No discussion of the stupidity of the girl who died. God forbid you call a spade a spade.

It’s not that I don’t feel sympathy for stories like this, it’s just that I find it hard to well up. If she was mentally retarded and did this, I’d feel bad, but frankly a high school junior ought to know better.